In a perfect world we have the knowledge of when, and even how we are going to die, that way the soon to be living challenged has a final chance. One final chance to live their life. Yes today will be my last day, but thank you for telling me. For now I have the chance to change who I am, and the change in me will last until my last breath. Thank you for telling me of what my day will end with for now I have that one chance to determine which mark I leave to be remembered. When you sit back and think, and I mean really think about what you would do the day you knew you would die, would you have similar thoughts as mine? What is important to accomplish in life that can be experienced on a to-do list and a soon to expire time frame? Twenty four hours and ticking…. get to work.
1. To tell or not to tell THAT is the question- And I do not have an answer, I do know that if I decided not to tell verbally those I care for, I would personally write them a letter stating all the facts. However I would keep it rather short, writing, stuffing the envelope and licking stamps just brought me down to 20 hours and 18 minutes (but who’s counting?). If I made the choice to share I would tell just one soul, one person whose own eyes bore through me, knowing my deepest fears, pains, loves and desires. I would tell just one soul, as the rest will soon know and if verbally I spoke the words of my impending death I would have less then 19 hours and 2 minutes. I know that may seem odd, after all I am only telling one person of my death, but remember I am telling the one person who valued my life. That one person was a time penalty due to tears, vent, tears, but why, tears, its not fair, tears…get the picture? So it is safe to say that I shall write my letters, after all, for the first time in life I wish to be in the moment, to tell father time to stall my clock, for the first time I have only one deadline and it is fast approaching.
2. To regret – All that was loved and lost is forgiven, to all that was lost and never loved a pity, for in my final moments I shall have no regret. After all today is my day to die, what good is it going to do me to sit around thinking what I should have done versus what I did? Ive made my peace, Ive lived a good life, if others don’t see that then it truly is they with the regrets and not me. My only regret is I forgot where I left my ATM card and there is no way I am dying with that much money to go to a non existing estate. Ahhhh there is still the old fashioned banking, and this is my number 2 I shall spend 46 minutes in the bank withdrawing everything but my 2 cents, if only I hadn’t gone during lunch rush I could have been in and out. I have what 18 and some odd hours left right? (Please don’t expect my math to be up to par, after all today is my special day).
3. My final moment, yes this is my final moment. Around 18 hours left and Im already a bit bored with this whole preparing to die thing. There is nothing better then a road trip to cure boredom. For the next 1028 miles I drive, and I drive, I have time to think, time to reflect, time to regret… My only regret is that in my final moments, my last 18 hours I drive down barren highways, heading out of the world in the manner I arrived…Alone. With just two minutes left I pull to the side of the road, apply lip gloss, recline the drivers seat wonder which time zone I am in and does it matter that Ive switched over? Will I still be taken at this moo…
